Ha!
I scared you!!!!!!!
Today is Be Happy Continued Day!
If you would like to participate in Be Happy Continued Day, please go to "The Tardy Titan" post and read Tips 21, 22, and 23. Then do them. Remember, I like purple-striped things. And fried zucchini.
Upon completion, you will become one of the Be Happy Continued-Dayers!
I am now going to introduce the Topic of the Day:
GRAFFITI
Yes, GRAFFITI!!!!!!
Dear reader, are you wondering why I am writing about Graffiti today?
The reason why goes like this:
Today I was walking down the sidewalk, admiring the flowers and the trees and the sunshine, and listening to the little birdies singing...
and singing...
When I saw It.
On the wall!
It was horrible! Devastating, I tell you!
I covered my eyes and hopped up and down and shouted and wept! The cars zoomed past and ignored me!
I am sure you are very curious, dear reader, so I will tell you what It was.
It was GRAFFITI!!
I am not sure what it said, because it was not written in English.
No, it was more like Mongolian or another crazy language.
It looked like this:
Except much, much, much worse. And there were different letters. And it was in green paint, and made with a spray gun (or spray can or something), and it was all backwards and upside-down and squiggly. And it wasn't really letters from the English alphabet.
Being an English major, I was rightfully disgusted and simultaneously appalled.
So I went over to the wall and took out some paper towels and taped them over the Graffiti of Yuck.
The people who lived behind the wall came out of their house and stared at me (I really don't know why), so I went away.
The Graffiti of Yuck reminded me of something that had always bothered me in school.
GRAFFITI ON DESKS.
I believe that a few select categories of Students graffiti their desks:
1. Bored People
2. Angry People
3. Dumb People
4. Annoying People
5. Rude People
6. Grumpy People
7. People Who I Do Not Like
8. People Who I Disagree With
9. People Who Are Flunking Their Classes
10. People Who Cannot Behave Civilly and Stop Themselves From Destroying Other People's Property
11. People Who
Ahem...
I believe I have made my point.
So...you few and very bad people who have Graffitied desks and other school property, I am completely ashamed of you. And you should be ashamed of yourself too.
It is always wrong and completely inexcusable to deface or ill-use other people's belongings.
I hope you all understand that.
On a less serious note, yesterday I went down to CSUF and hid in the shadows of the Mighty McCarthy Building.
I watched as some of you Summer CSUF Students left packages on the sundial.
I snuck to the sundial under the cover of nightfall (and a hood) and retrieved those packages.
I now own a purple-striped beanie, a large box of cold fried zucchini, and two pairs of purple-striped socks.
To those who participated, I bestow upon you a humbled and grateful Thank You.
Which is why today is Be Happy Continued Day!
I expect an even bigger turnout!
Second Topic of the Day:
Why You Should Go to my Ice Cream Shop (And Thus Increase My Wages):
1. Because Ice Cream is the best food ever.
2. Ice Cream has no calories.
3. Ice Cream has no sugar.
4. Ice Cream has no additives, no trans fat, and no preservatives.
5. Ice Cream is one of Weight Watcher's staple food items!
6. Ice Cream is cold!
7. Ice Cream is delish!
8. Ice Cream is amazing.
9. Ice Cream is completely fat-free!
10. Ice Cream is good for everyone, even lactose-intolerant people and diabetics!
Unfortunately, none of these reasons are true, except Reasons 1, 6, 7, and 8.
But you should still go.
I insist.
Now I will find another subject to babble about.
Terrific
Highly interesting
Exhilarating!
Amazing
Never wrong
Optimistic
Nautical and new and nice and no, not like that...
Y are u staring at me?
Mad about Fried Zucchini
Open to a New Pair of Purple-Striped Socks
U is always hard to find a word for, but I did. Ubiquitous.
Still anonymous, as alwayssssssssssssssssssss
Tried and true and terrifyingly tasteful
Intelligently interested in
Turnips
Always about and around and alert and amok
No. 1
Have you figured it out yet?
I hope so.
I am hungry, but luckily I have some left-over fried zucchini. (I ate most of my new box while writing this post.) Unluckily, I will soon run out. So participate! Participate! Participate in Be Happy Continued Day!
Tips for Today:
Tip #24: Saying something about something important is better than saying something about nothing important. I always follow this rule. Always.
Tip #25: Yodelers must be the loneliest people on earth. (Yodel-ayyyyyyyyyy-yodel-eeeeeeeeeee-yodelayyyyyyyy-eeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiii...) My head hurts just thinking about it.
Tip #26: So hungryyyyyyy.
Tip #27: If someone comes to your door and tries to sell you something, stare at them with your mouth open. Then continue staring at them with your mouth open. If this fails, close your mouth, cross your eyes, and drool. If even this fails, tilt your head to one side, stare at their ear, pretend that it has caught on fire, and begin screaming. Take a breath and repeat. With luck, eventually they will go away.
Tip #28: Don't scream "Fire!" while getting rid of the salesperson. People nearby may sue you. Shriek "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!" instead.
Farewell.
Send me stuff (please). I prefer fried zucchini, not fried mozzarella sticks, so don't leave those, like some dolt did yesterday.
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
