I hope you are not offended by the title of this blog post.
I am not referring to myself, but actually to my topic.
Today I will inform you about:
Disgusting Things at CSUF:
1. I am not going to be talking about Disgusting Behavior, such as Spitting (ew) - no, only Disgusting Things.
2. Gum on the Ground
3. Squished Blue Carpets
4. Trash on the Ground
5. I don't know...there has to be something else...
6. More Trash on the Ground...
7. Bird Poop. But this cannot be blamed on Students...
8. Dirty Bathrooms, especially the Library Ones.
9.
That's it. That is all I can think of. Can you think of any? If so, please email me, and I will (possibly) write about them later.
Anyways, GUM.
Gross
Undelightful
Most horrible stuff ever
Gum is gross:
1. When it is on the ground.
2. When it is fresh on the ground.
3. When it is old on the ground.
4. When it is on the light pole.
5. When it is on the stair.
6. When it is on the banister,
7. And when it is in the air.
It is gross:
1. In a fountain,
2. On a tree,
3. On a desktop,
4. Underneath.
It is gross:
1. In your classroom,
2. In your eye,
3. It is gross when I walk by.
Let me hastily amend that last line.
It is not gross when I walk by. No, the gum is gross when it is in your eye and I walk by. Okay?
Now, onward.
Gum is also undelightful (which, although not a word, is an aptly chosen description):
1. Because it is quite boring,
2. Like a moldy rat snoring,
3. Or some apple coring,
4. The sound of rain pouring,
5. Perhaps a gnat soaring,
6. And maybe old flooring.
Gum is undelightful because:
1. I do not eat it,
2. You do not eat it,
3. She does not eat it,
4. He does not eat it,
5. And no one with any sense eats it.
6. Gnats don't eat it,
7. Bats don't eat it,
8. Bears don't munch it,
9. Owls don't beak it,
10. And floors cannot at all.
So. I hope you have all understood the nature of GUM and its many, irrevocable flaws.
Now I will turn to the object of Blue Squished Carpet.
Those of you who have walked the halls of CSUF may now remember what exactly is on the floor of these halls. It is not pretty.
Squashed into the mashed threads of the Blue Squished Carpets are many, many, many round dark blue or black circles. Some of them are dark gray, others a dull dark red.
And now, dear reader, you understand why GUM is not cool. Because it is everywhere!!!
I will now list the places Gum can be found at CSUF:
1. Squashed into the Blue Squished Carpet.
2. On walls.
3. On desks.
4. On chairs.
5. On tables.
6. In crevices of buildings.
7. On the sidewalk.
8. On trees.
9. On people's shoes,
10. And on seats.
Now tell me, does that sound pleasant? I do not think so. I sometimes wish CSUF was in Singapore.
The other slight problem is litter...but since we have janitors (like Toby) and such, this trash is usually picked up pretty quickly.
Some Notably Clean Places at CSUF are:
1. The Gym.
2. The new section of the Library!
3. And the old section too! But the new section is prettier!
4. Most bathrooms.
5. Mihaylo! Which is beautiful and shiny, as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts.
6. The new computer labs.
7. Um.
Today's post does not seem to be flowing smoothly. Perhaps I will go away and try to write some more tomorrow.
Tips of the Day:
Tip #73: Sometimes, even for English Majors, it is hard to write. In those cases, it is best to take a break and write later. It's not good to force creativity.
Tip #74: Purple-striped things are happy! I bought some more purple-striped socks. Now I am happy. Follow this advice!
Tip #75: EAT FOOD.
Adios, dear reader! Also, Adieu!
