Sports.
Argh.
Why on earth did I decide to write about this???
Sports.
ARGH.
Give me a moment.
A billion years or so ago, when I was still in school at CSUF, I was eating lunch on a bench near the Engineering Building. I'm not sure it was the Engineering Building because I never go there (English majors rule!) but I thought it was. So I was sitting there, eating lunch (can you guess what? Crunch crunch crunch) and I saw the most interesting sight ever.
Several people, with long, thin, shiny objects, were poking at each other with them and walking/lunging across the grass nearby. I watched for a moment with my mouth open. What were they doing? And why were they holding rapiers?
Eventually I concluded that they belonged to a sort of fencing club, although I didn't even know that one existed at our school. Hmm, I thought. How interesting. Also, how odd.
So...my advice to you today is: Join the Fencing Club! Because that is what those people belonged to, I believe. You'll have to look the club up on the Fullerton website - I don't know exactly how to get hold of them or even if they are continuing it this year. But they have a Facebook page you can check out (from last year) if you are curious.
Enough about Sports. If you are interested in being in any of them, go look it up and save me the trouble. Ha!
Today's SECOND Topic of the Day:
Back to School.
Don't you all just cringe at the sound of those three words? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack tooooooo Schooooooooooollllll.... It sounds quite evil.
For those of you who don't know (or who are trying to forget), school starts up again on Monday.
Hopefully, you've registered for classes.
Well, have you???
Freshmen have already had orientation, so they will be lugging around those big fabric bags on campus for a few weeks. Sophomores consider themselves to be really cool - "I'm a second-year. Oooh..." Juniors are all aglow with their triumph - 2 years of college gone! Only 2 left! And seniors are contemplating the end of school and that horrible word: Job. As in a Real Job. Eek.
I am here to tell you all that everything will be okay.
Well, sort of.
Freshmen - don't worry. The first day of school is just another one of those days when you are doing something for the first time, but so is everyone in your classes. It's going to be very easy for you to make friends, especially since everyone is starting at a new school with no friends just like you. And if you already have a friend you do not have to worry. Make another one too!
Sophomores- Yes, you are very cool because you have successfully finished one year of college without dropping out. Some of you may even have gotten mostly A's. This is impressive. But don't let it go to your head. This year is going to be challenging too. You'll have to adjust to harder classes - not so many G.E.'s - and make friends with those professors that you'd like to recommend you.
Juniors- Yes, you are amazing. This is quite true. You consider yourselves to be just as cool as seniors - possibly more, yes - but you also have a strenuous year ahead of you. Get those syllabuses, talk to those nice professors, buy your books, and get cracking. It's work time!!
Seniors- I don't need to commend you because I'm sure all your buddies/parents/friendly professors/aunts and uncles/grandparents/little sisters have already lavished praise upon you. Yes, it is your last year. Yes, it is a bit daunting. Yes, soon you will be leaving CSUF forever (unless you want to take a graduate program here) - but never fear. You can do it. That's how you made it to college in the first place. Hard work, and perseverance, and all those other good things.
Ways to Tell if You are Acting Like an Immature College Student:
1. You carry one of those ginormous fabric bags around. Ha ha. Although this is not bad, it does show that you're a freshman. Backpacks are easier to carry, by the way.
2. You are periodically late to your first class because, as you say, there was no parking and you had to drive around in circles for hours. Hint: get to school early (around 7) to get a prime parking place.
3. You forget that you have a class and miss it completely. This is not just a freshman thing.
4. When you go to that class the next day, you ask the professor if you missed anything important. Hint: Professors always think that every single day of their class is important, and they will react with righteous indignation. Don't ask this. Instead, get the notes from someone else. If they let you. Then pay them back by giving them notes the next time they miss class.
5. You take a semester off. Wow. This is not a great way to graduate in four years.
6. You eat in class. Unless the professor tells you explicitly that this is okay, don't do it. It's noisy, disruptive, and smelly. VERY smelly.
7. You complain about your schedule when you have two classes per day. This is a nice schedule. Treasure it. Really.
8. Instead of writing down notes, you pass them to your friends. Baaaaaad. Very baaaaaad. Furthermore, you are not learning anything. Wipe that stunned look off your face. If you don't pay attention in class = you fail the midterm. Then you have to scramble to pass the class by getting an A on the final. This is not fun.
9. You cultivate a crush on a particularly attractive professor - and then one day when they leave the classroom, you tell everyone. How stupid can you get? No offense to those of you who've done this. Sort of.
10. You chew gum constantly in class. You don't read your textbook. You forget to do your homework. You don't go to office hours if you need help. You do papers the night before they are due. Your face bears a permanently confused expression. You party till the morning light. You join a sorority or fraternity. Oops. Ignore that last one, although this is a sign that you're stretching yourself too far. Join a scholarly club instead. One that encourages studying when it meets.
Now that I've finished being insulting, I will now tell a story.
Once upon a time, there was a very attractive guy named Smart College Student. He got up every morning at five and drove to CSUF in record time (of course, he followed the speed limits) and parked in the Gym Parking Lot around six. Then he went to the gym and exercised until seven on various weight machines and ellipticals. He was very buff.
After the gym, he went to the TSU and checked his homework, making sure it was perfect. At seven forty-five, he packed up his belongings and went to the library. There he relaxed for a few hours.
At exactly nine forty-five, he slung his backpack over his CSUF sweatshirted shoulder, and marched off to class in one of the various CSUF buildings.
During class, he took precise notes, raised his hand to ask questions, raised his hand to answer questions, and listened to the professor intently. He refrained from eating, chewing gum, and discussing things with the Students around him unless he was told to do so. He was very organized. Every class had its notebook or binder, and he had twenty pencils and twenty pens in his backpack. If someone asked to use a pen, he told them to keep it.
After morning classes, he went to the Garden Cafe and ate lunch with his buddies. Then he went back to the library before his next class, to make sure that his professor hadn't canceled. Then he left for class exactly fifteen minutes before it started.
He got A's on all his papers, and all his midterms, and all his other tests, and all his pop quizzes, and all his finals. He was the Best Student in the Whole World. No one could compare to him and his excellence.
After he finished college, he applied to several places for work. In the meantime, he learned how to speak French, Spanish, German, and Portuguese.
No one hired him.
So he went to grad school and became a professor.
The End.
The moral of this story is: Work hard, really hard, and you will excel.
The moral of this story is: If you don't want to become a professor, don't excel.
Whoops! Never mind.
Let's try that again.
Smart College Student applied to several places, and each of them really really wanted him, so he chose the best one ever, and he worked there for the rest of his life. He was very happy.
The End.
Moral: Work hard and be happy.
Tips of the Day:
Tip #76: Pick out a new backpack for school. This is fun, and it will make you happy and less nervous, if that is what you are.
Tip #77: Leave some fried zucchini (preferably in a box, not just sitting there) on the sundial. Make my day!
Tip #78: Enjoy these last two days of summer. Go somewhere! The beach! The pool! Your backyard! A mall! The school! Don't go to the school! Go dancing! Go ice-skating! Go ice-cream eating! Go swimming in a hot tub! Take a shower! So that you're not smelly on Monday!
Tip #79: Avoid looking for me at school. You will not find me. If you dally around the sundial, I will not show up. I will also not be there on Monday night. So there!
See you soon!
Adieu!
