It is raining.
Hey! Get away from the weather page! You will not be able to figure out my location from that, I assure you.
Because it is raining in lots of places. Ha!
It is not always pleasant when it is raining. I'm sure some of you think that it is never fun when it is raining. I beg to differ from your opinion (which you are entitled to hold) by saying that rain is fun when you are sitting on the couch, in your nice warm apartment, watching a movie and eating popcorn. Or fried zucchini.
Rain is especially nice when you have a friend to share it with. As in a furry friend, like Hypnos, or a human friend, like...like...uh....um....
We will return to that topic later, I believe.
Topic of the Day: Rain at School.
There are several main ideas connected to Rain at School. I will list them for you:
1. Umbrellas. People generally use these when it is raining. Also, sometimes they malfunction. Remember those scenes in movies when umbrellas turn inside out and drag their owner behind them into the howling wind and rain, their belongings splatting into puddles and their nicely combed hair dissolving into a slopping mess? Now imagine this happening to a Student in the middle of the Quad.
2. Sad People. People usually become woebegone when they realize that the person being dragged across the Quad by their malfunctioning umbrella is their Friend. Or when they realize that they've left their homework in their car, which is halfway across the school, which is separated from them by veritable lakes of puddles and tornadoes of rain. Or when they come to the conclusion that the only dry place to be is in class, where some of them didn't want to go in the first place.
3. Wet Homework. This happens when your umbrella flips inside out. Or when you drop your folder in a puddle. Or when you trip and fall into the soggy bushes. Or when the person walking very fast towards you, as he tries to get to class on time, accidentally slams right into you and knocks you into the wall, causing your umbrella to fall out of your hand and your papers to collapse into a drenched heap on the sopping cement.
4. Squeaky Shoes. As compared to other happenings, this is not such a bad thing. You will hear this phenomenon in the library entrances, as people's shoes come into contact with wet plastic tiles, and create a high-pitched squeaking sound. If you do not know that it is raining, you will figure it out when you hear the Squeaking Shoes.
5. Grumpy People. If someone has just run into you and knocked your papers askew, I suppose you may not be the happiest person in the world. But cheer up! I'm sure your professor will take your dripping and wrinkled appearance into account when you inform him that you cannot turn in your homework, and as you hold up your mangled belongings with a pathetic air.
6. Less Interest. By Less Interest, I mean less interest in Class. Students that are preoccupied with thinking about how the rain is going to wash their house away, or who are wondering how they are going to get to their car (without an umbrella) and without drowning, tend to pay less attention to professors. On the other hand, professors who are similarly preoccupied will give less interesting and probably less informative lectures, so you both will win.
7. More Noise. Squeaky shoes, plus dripping umbrellas, plus complaining people, plus rustling of wet papers, plus longer excuses for missing homework, plus chattering teeth = more noise. This is a tried and true Math Equation. I predict that most of you are now appalled that I have used the word "Math" and the word "Equation" in conjunction with each other on an English Major's Blog (also a no-no), and so will now X out of my happy musings forever, and never read anything about me again. This too, dear reader, creates more noise, because you are clicking your mouse to exit. Now you can add that to my Equation.
8. Absences. By absences, I am not referring to the people who have just exited out of my life forever. No, I mean those Students who wake up to find that the sky is pouring rain, and who lie in bed lackadaisically (or in despair), and who simply choose to go back to sleep instead of going to class. Who knows how they will react the next day when it is still raining? Goodbye grades!
9. Car Accidents. Eek. This is too scary. Never mind.
10. Unkempt Appearances. Wet hair. Sliding makeup. Dripping shoes. Drenched jeans. Soggy T-shirts. Slushy umbrellas. Angry faces. Sad faces. Droopy faces. Spiky hair. Very curly hair. Very wet hair. Raccoon eyes. Etc.
And the last one:
11. Broken Bones. What would happen, dear reader, if your wet shoe happened to slip on the floor of the library entrance? And then if you fell headlong? And you knocked several people over like dominoes? And their massive backpacks flew into the air and then back down? And then you all were lying on the floor? And the ceiling caved in because of all the rain? And then the whole library toppled? And...
Perhaps the endless stream of increasingly depressing things has made you sad.
I will desist.
In the wee hours of the morning (last night), I went to CSUF. And it was raining.
And Toby was sweeping halfheartedly at the water on the ground in the Quad, and there was a box on the sundial.
Wait. Back up!
And there was a box on the sundial...
And there was a box on the sundial.
And there was a box on the sundial.
AND THERE WAS A BOX ON THE SUNDIAL!!
So. I went over to the sundial, and I opened the box, and there was a glorious sight inside. Toby looked over at me. He was not happy-looking. It must have been the rain, I think. "Hi," he said.
"Hi!" I said, and ate a piece of the fried zucchini.
Toby scowled. "I went to my Great Aunt Anne's funeral."
"That's nice." I ate another piece of zucchini. "Oh. Sorry. Was it - er...was it very bad?"
"Horrible," intoned Toby. He swiped dangerously at a leaf and caused a great splash. Luckily, none of it hit me. Toby blinked slowly as the water tried to splatter him. He whacked it with the broom.
"I'm sorry," I said, entranced by the sight of Toby fighting with a puddle. "Er... I haven't seen you for a while."
"Nope," said Toby. He appeared to be losing the battle with the water. He dropped the broom into the puddle and sat down on the damp bench, and made an effort to smile. It looked like a grimace. "So how was your week?"
"Uh," said I. "Fine. Yours?" My fine-tuned sense of grammar had left me completely.
"Fine," Toby repeated. He picked up a soggy leaf and let it fall with a splat. "I guess someone finally sent you food."
"Right," I said. "Fried zucchini. Do you want some?" At last, I thought. A complete sentence.
Toby shook his head no. He reached for the brown suitcase that was on the bench next to him, and opened it. He took out a bag lunch and produced a sandwich. Then he looked at me. "Do you want a sandwich? Mustard and cheese."
I had already devoured the rest of my fried zucchini in the last ten seconds, and my traitorous stomach growled hungrily. I decided that it would be rude to say no. "Sure."
So we sat on the bench and ate sandwiches together. The rain was very loud, but because there was a tree over the bench, we did not get that wet.
I said goodbye to Toby after I finished my sandwich, and picked up my empty box. Then I produced my umbrella and went away.
Perhaps, dear reader, you would like me to leave you with a happy thought. Perhaps you are sad because it is cold and rainy in the middle of summer.
Happy Thought:
It may not be raining tomorrow.
Okay, there you go! Now for the Tips of the Day:
Tip # 70: Sometimes your blog hates you. I tried to fix the font problem in this post - have you noticed that my font changes from the beginning of the post to the end? - but it did not work. Then I put my head down on my computer keyboard and wept. Also, the spaces between paragraphs is malfunctioning. I think I will go cry somewhere more comfortable, by the way. The keyboard is sort of poky.
Tip # 71: It is more fun to watch the rain with another person than by yourself.
Tip # 72: Cats are your best friends when they want food and/or warmth. Hypnos actually woke up today when I got home. Then he wound himself around my ankles, like those cats do in books, and purred until I got him a bowl of cat food. Then he decided I didn't exist anymore.
Oh well.
See you tomorrow, dear reader.
